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March 28th, 2005
08:01 pm - Individual Purpose Crazed in the head naked in the bed beading a necklace for raising the dead. Underneath me now is only a wish A wish to progress to the next mortal change for which I still will never understand. Killing myself off slowly for your amusement and entertainment yet its a no show only me and my demise.
If not tomorrow then the next day If not this life I'd then find a better way. I'm killing myself for your own amusement and entertainment
My conviction election putrid saturation in creation I've sent love and haterid.. From dawn to sunset I'll kill them all then raise the dead with a beaded necklas.
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August 9th, 2004
07:22 pm Eyes rolled back insertion in the brain delivered from the insane. Carryed across distant clouds where angelic notes but when they arrived they shattered dreams and wishes. Tossed back in the same dark cold hole time and time agin my sainity dissolved and now in the clear. Why do I give a shit, who said I gave a shit, Why question I gave a shit. Dream after dream I can not wake. Night after night the nightmares mixed with fantisy I can not live. To take this last breath out of my self I can not do but this love I can not remove. Lenched on a see threw wire strung barely off the ground I will not frown I will not give. But forever lingering is this lost one. Back back rolling back is my reeling brain the end is in the begging. The begging laying in the end. Resting waiting for the rise.
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August 5th, 2004
09:19 am - You don't know what life is A remark a person made to me because of who I am and what it is they think I stand for. LIfe dragging billions of miles of Question's that make no diffrence so they stay behind in the past. Life simply an exestance. A Stone on a Hill of many. No questions no answers. Strive strive little bizzy bee he important to all the other honey bee's. While I take pleasure in what time I have left. My life a journey to which I must lay aware of despite your function of judgment and idealism of what your purpose is. The seed's that poisoned the barrel, for reason's I do not know but I feel as if I reamber it when it began. While I take pleasure in endless exstance Time is not real
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August 2nd, 2004
06:59 pm Forever saken forever young i've been waiting it seems forever to pull the trigger of my liquid gun. Days strech into weeks as weeks strech into lost lonely years. Entertainment for tears sometimes fears. Beside a silk pedastool she rest, trying to forget all of the rest. The only one that matters I tell myself as I sardonicly drift on by. Forever cursed Forever loveing green ginger sweet as honey. Current Mood: indifferent Current Music: Get Fucked
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July 31st, 2004
07:38 am
Apathy deranged beautiful escaping long enough to suffer ecstasy hopeing to die someday - Where is it that I stand in this dark pile of shit you call home.
Stranger only existing but now blowing the use away as a mortal suicide, When I return I will drop you a line.
Field's drained from there dreams now catching the breeze, somehow im now at ease.
Current Mood: high Current Music: When the music's over
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July 8th, 2004
08:19 am - Illusion in the green water
The game is up i'm surrounded on all sides its now time to find a new horizen.
I'm on a plane flying higher than ever before.
And what is your name velvet bean
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July 2nd, 2004
09:40 am - Generation Suicide You can't tell a fine wine without watching it die'in on its vine. Raised to be nobodies were all gonna wanna die somebody but when we grow up we know just who we are. Dimond's in the sky fall to the earth crashin apon your face. But we still know just who we are, wraped in a world that makes no diffrences. Bleeding wounds from the babwire tightly spun around god's body.
Do you think we really know who we are - slandering gandering spear like eye's cutting at the skin like a dull butterknife. What I've become, I just don't know further more makeing my road to the next existance from another, soon I will be a shadow Then agin. Then agin. Withering snake beside the gaurden shreeks to the rose for help but as beautiful as it could be the sickness of the rose's mind with held the place of god.
SLICK TRIMED PALE DEEP DARK EYES CRAWLING THREW THE DRAINAGE PIPE! This is who I am.
Pissing on the prayer's given to me I will myself to carry on. Whats so special about you that makes you think you'll live to tomorrow. Where begging. Where begging. Take our pride away, someday someday I just might be a star above you. above you, just waiting for my fall I don't want anything at all. Without a sound my mind falls for the ground now rolling as I watch with out makeing a single sound or frown. The sign's are showing. The sign's are showing. Out and Thew In agin End
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June 3rd, 2004
04:13 pm

From the rise of the sun I follow.
From this rise I wake very shallow.
The shadows on the wall watch me unknowingly, The shadows taughing me.
I've lived died and tryed.
But the shadow on my back keeps following me.
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May 18th, 2004
06:24 pm Stumble me quick stumble me steep I peeked over the Mountain peaks. I've got blue flowers and a orange soda in a brown bag said Burt as he walked to school. Then a 79 caddie found its way to him from the road so they went for a tumble threw the cement wall. Here i am another tuesday night sitting behind this computer typeing like mad for no reason i guess its just somekinda obsession. Once apon a time there was a kid I use to hang out with we growed up together for the most part. We first saw each other we just felt hate and this guy soon to be my bestfreind and the only one i truely ever had. We spoke our minds to each other and could fist fight to break each others nose and nothing but laughter would come out of it. But after my 18th birthday the day after he drove his car threw a tree and killed himself. I will never have another best freind in my life.
Dawn to dusk night to morning waiting and waiting. Catch a drift of wind from down the road to see whats ahead. Can't I just run to the nearist tranquility.
Welcome to my own chapel. I've seen the steaple and i've read the book of tranquility welcome to my empire. Then you can just toss me to the wolfves.
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May 9th, 2004
05:07 am Liviing Corpse
Swaying back and forth in the fall breeze were like weeds that never really die just wither then replentish. It makes me so fucking sick to see you smile then turn a frown to anothers back. Wondering around in a daze waiting to be put out of our misery no one is on there journeys just dodgeing destiny. In the sea under the medow and threw the vines hanging from the dead trees is a paradice, searching and searching but then i found you but your was not interested in nothing more than a 2 dollar beer for you and your friend. The terror i hold back on humanity the anger the i cork in a bottle just to let go in some other direction maybe some other poor fool that don't derserve so much. we are awaiting now for the next show the curtains have closed at least for me there are no more lightings i never really got my big gig but i will get mine in the sky. Peaceful so discretful our relationship with one another you tell me not to tell i do not tell weeks to a month later after it is over with you call to say you love me after it is too late. Baby you reached in my heart and touched it for one moment till i realized that it was not real. I can not love it seems how often i try even with the beautiful girls that walk by unnoticed unseen im a grey ghost passing threw with a bite that would take that pretty smile right off your face you man you whore you and your man whores, drying dieing on a vine i set aside for another show.
In the basement where my hands are chained to a wall the morning dawn brings a light threw the crack in the wall that wakes me. drip drip drip on the head there is a leak in the roof i said. whiped whiped whiped till my chest was covered in the very blood of my mother. Once a young virgin once so young and happy till she spun this web we call home now that young virgin no longer lives and this young shooting star lives no more. A journey till the end nothing matters A seach for destiney starts and end heres. In your eyes i glance but im still stuck in the pupil. crazy crazy ambition but everyone needs something or other wise we are just dead and lost. We are the living corpse of todays walking earth stomp stomp go ahead rip it to shreads its all yours who cares it will start and end here. Shead this blood on the end of your toe like the cancer i am i will spread like one to live another day. In the wind, bodys, even the emotions you get when your alone will strive from me.
MORE MORE MORE is all they screamed it was never enough and this is never to suprising. uprising into another break threw, KILL KILL KILL the virgins pour there blood there is no future for you now. Rap them of everything thats the new thing.
In the basement I swing from my chains bleeding from the gashes I laugh laugh laugh you can not stop me. Current Mood: calm Current Music: do you really care,
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